Defeat, Lost & Love

"Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Og Mandino

Oh were to start. My life has been upside down but thankfully someone heard I needed a special person to take some pain away cause I am so happy to be back in contact. :) It really does feel great to smile and feel love again! If only..i could have it 24/7

I miss my home, yet there really wasnt anything happy to say about it. I miss trying to make a happy home is more like it.

I miss my freedom. That went away years ago and I just accepted defeat. Thinking I am doing the right thing. I was and I am killing myself. Why should I have took the first one that came after a broken heart. I should have said no. I should have waited. I should have listen to others. But then again. It was a lesson learned the hard way..

I miss my father. I miss our talks, our laughs and everything in between. But I know I have him as a Angel looking down. I know he hated to know when I was down, he helped the best way he could. He always wanted the best for me and told me all the time. I think he wouldn't mind me saying this but sometimes you must move on to do better. I will do my best as a promise to him.

Now with the sad parts
- had to move in with my mom. Which she helps me when I am down and I do love her.. She is just very negative sometimes and says things that hurt me but I take them to heart. I take them with a blank expression that later on brings me to tears.
- money is very tight. But everyone has this happing in todays world.
- cant believe them lowlifes who who broke in and stole all them things out of my storage unit. You have no idea how this gets under my skin. Daddy always told us to "get off our rears and get a job and earn money the decent way. You will have more pride and joy that way."
- I miss Willie. I miss my little protective barking doggie... My lil foot warmer...

and all these losses just makes me enjoy the little things that do make me smile..
I am glad that I have someone to make me smile and feel loved. Its the best feeling ever.
Too bad I can be beside him now. I really need a hug and some loving arms to fall asleep in. :)

Photo of my dad at church on old fashion day. This is such a good one. More to follow later.