Flood Warning: Memories

Hello again

I wish I could write about having a great day but that is the opposite of today. It's been a stressful kind of day. A lot of emotions flooding back and forth. Everything from the miscarriage that I had in April, and how I lost a special person and I feel so bad about it. I guess that came up from where someone was watching a show on discovery about Child Births, and no it wasnt me. It was put on and then I started watching..bad mistake. Just made me want to cry. Emotions dealing with when certain songs play on random on my mp3 player that I have been listening too all night sparks memories of someone and places of time makes me very happy but deep down its crushing cause I want them good memories back. Making me again think did I do the right thing? Am I actually thinking of this again?
But then again, with that being said, the angry moments of today between me and someone else really makes me think. I mean, it was a stupid little thing. I simply put two drinks in your lunch bag instead of two water bottles and you had the nerve to yell at me and hang up on me.... seriously. How old are we?
All I could think of is here I am doing the best that I could to make you happy, and heck, yea I made your lunch and packed it for you.Like I do everyday.. even put special things in to make you think of me. Sometimes notes of just "have a great night. <3 you".... But why everyday you must be different and when I forget or mess up you take it all out on me? .. Just makes me think about all them nights where I felt scared and alone. I am telling myself right now, I will not go threw that again. No more blue eyes and tears for me. Thats a promise to myself, and to you. I have been here by your side threw so much and even a delopment. Yes when you came home you wasnt the same person, I totally understand. But atleast I try to not get into that. But the anger is easy for you, and it hurts. It might seem like a stupid fight but to me.. its a stone being throwed right threw my stain glassed heart. Another pane being broken.. how many panes will it take till I am completely broken and useless and my beauty gone. Cause I sure do feel it tonight, such an empty feeling of dispointment.

Looking back and memories of the good times with a certain someone has made me smile, least I can say that for tonight. And it feels good to think about it, just wish it was still in my life...

Well that is all for tonight. Since My little girl is now finally asleep. I think I will do the same.
Good night world.